जिंदगी आजकल...

Had written this poem long back, posting it here today ...

लेकर चले थे जो एक छोटी सी ख्वाइश घर से
ना जाने कितनी दूर आ गए हैं
हो चुकी ना जाने कितनी ख्वाइशे पूरी
फिर भी ना जाने क्यों है जिंदगी अधूरी

अनजानों के साथ अनजानी राह पर चलते
ना जाने अपने कब अनजान हो गए
भागते रहे हम दूर इतना कि
अपने ही घर में मेहमान हो गए

हँसते हैं मुस्कुराते हैं और इश्क भी जताते हैं
फिर भी न जाने क्यों अपने को तनहा ही पाते हैं
कोई सुन न ले रात में ये सिसकिया हमारी
कुछ इसलिए भी हम रात जाग कर बिताते हैं

चलते जा रहे हैं हम दूर पर मंजिल नजर आती नहीं
खरीदे हुए सामानों से मन तो बहलता है पर ख़ुशी नजर आती नहीं
देखते हैं पुरानी यादो को अक्सर
पर याद क्यों अब रुलाती नहीं

मन करता है की जा सकू फिर से वापस
ले सकू सुकून  की एक नींद यू दादी की गोद में
रो सकू जी भर के जहाँ
और बता सकू की क्यों रोया हूँ मैं

पर फंस गया हूँ जिंदगी में इस खातिर
की बस अब यही सब सोचता हूँ मैं
रोज सोते वक़्त आँखों से आते पानी को
ना टूट जाने के डर से पोंछता हु मैं

ना जाने हर रात को बैचैन सा
यही सब सोचता हु मैं ॥

Sometimes i wish...

Well this poem is written for my grandma who is no more with us for more then a year now. Sometimes missing someone makes them realize the true value of a person. 


Sometimes i wish...
You were never gone
So far from this world
Giving tears in so many eyes
Making them alone forever

Sometimes i wish...
You were still here
Laughing with all of us in good times and bad
Scolding us with love as the way you used to do
Telling me how much you love to me

Sometimes i wish...
I could show the girl i chosen
The one you always asked me for
And can see shine in your eyes
And a proudy yes to approve the girl

Sometimes i wish...
To feel you back in life for real
And not just in dreams you come
To talk with you for hours and hours
To feel the love you gave us your whole life

Sometimes i wish...
That i could speak to you for one more time
Just one last time
To hug you tight and take blessings from you
To tell you how much i love you
And how much you meant to me

Sometimes i wish...
I could roll time back
Not for good things
Not for bad things
But just for you.
Just for you.

Love you...

Each day i open my eyes

Each day i close my eyes

All i can think about is you

In each blink of my eyes

All i can see is you...Smiling at me as you always do

I wanna make you happy

I wanna make you feel the love of you life

Which will never fade

Doesn't matter how old you grow, or how old i grow

Sometimes in life you might feel a little space between us

A little shout or a little fight

I could be wrong sometimes

Or you could also be

But all i know is you love me and i love you

You trust me and i trust you

And so nothing in this world will keep us apart

Even there is, i know we will shut that off

Even though there is nothing in this world that lasts forever

But there is love which breaks the chain

A lots of love for you my dear

A lots of love for you

I love you and will always do ...

Missing you :(

There are times when i miss you a lot
I remember all the time i spent with you
When i close my eyes and see you face smiling at me
Afraid of opening my eyes as i know you would not be there

If you think i don't love you
Or i don't have time for you
Someday when no is around
Meet my pillow which carries a lot of secrets

I ran for you, I fought for you
And finally when i reached to you
All i saw is your back
Saying me a little word "BYE"

Even though i smile a lot
Sometimes my heart aches too
Even though i never complain anything
But i could have complains too

I wish you were here to talk with me
To understand me, To make me stop crying
To hug me and Make me feel
That you will never leave me alone EVER!! :(

Happy New Year :)

Years come and years go
short spans of time lined in row
one ends and another begins
All we do is look back and see what went wrong
Keep new resolutions for another year

As life goes on with seconds and breaths
All we know we have today...
to live to celebrate to fall in love to cheer
to earn to spend to fight to hate to cry

May you live all of your today with all you want today for another year and year
Happy New Year to all my readers and friends. Keep smiling and stay tuned.

हर तरफ लगे हैं मेले ....

हर तरफ लगे हैं मेले 

बस खुशिओ का समां है

आज देखा हर तरफ

मेरा भारत जवा है

निकला जब लोगो का काफिला

तिरंगे को लेकर

आज देखा देशप्रेम का

असली जज्बा यहाँ है

ना जात पात का नाटक

ना दिलो में दूरिया हैं

आज देखो भारत की

सच्ची एकता यहाँ हैं

बीस साल बाद फिर से 

एक तूफ़ान आया है

विश्व-कप जीत कर भारत ने 

दुनिया भर में तिरंगा फेहराया है 

आज सारी रात बस जश्न की रात है

क्रिकेट का भगवान् सचिन हमारे साथ है

चलो मिल कर करते हैं जश्न

आज जश्न में पूरा वतन हमारे साथ है 

I lost you...

Yesterday night while seeing your pictures

I thought if I could hold you tight

Wanted real presence of yours

Which I could catch in my sight

A silent tear rolled out of my eyes

And I realised … I lost you

Regret is the only feeling which I feel everyday

Feelings which I have are not easy to say

The only thing I know I didn’t deserve this pain

I had something real which is flowing in my vein

My heart you took and broke it badly

Something which hurt me so deadly

I looked at your smiling face, tried out find out why

It was all I could do, to not to begin cry

While sleeping if look at the sky

I could make your picture and feel like cry

On bed I thought who is my best buddy?

Who do I love the most?

And I realised … I lost you

Feeling this much pain

Thought someone I could have

Who could feel me, make me laugh and smile

Walk with me for a longer mile

And I realised … I lost you

Let it be…!!

And I met you once again

May be the last time…

With all my smile and excitement

To capture your smiling face in my eyes forever

To record your voice and to hear echo’s of it in my mind

To feel you always near...

Time always go little fast with you

Knowing that this is the last time

I wasn’t able to say something

And finally thought…. Let it be…!!

 Seeing you always makes my day

You can’t even imagine what you are

For someone who love’s you

But anyway…. Let it be…!!

Though I am not much expressive

I wish you could have seen something

In my eyes, at my face…in my heart

I heard love doesn’t need words...

But its ok…. Let it be..!!

The only thing I know is I am happy…because you are happy

Life will just go on…. Let it be..!! 

Cruelest Love .... :(

LOVE!! The most complex thing ever existed in this world. I tried to find almost everything about it. We worship love which teaches us how to live. The whole world you can see in her one smile. They are luckier who get it. Love makes people happy forever. J

And than there is another kind of love, the cruelest kind, the one which almost kills its victim and its called unrequited love. To which I know much deeper. I suppose I think about love more then anyone really should.

Most of the stories which we often see are about the people who fall in love with each other, but how about few others, those of them who fall in love alone!!! Victims of the one sided affair. They are the cursed of the loved ones. They are the loved ones walking wounded.

You loved someone, so deeply without any demand, with all your heart because you loved. But then time comes which makes you realize that it was no good. And then you think those were the worst years of your life, the worst birthdays, new years, and celebrations. The time you have been in love have been the darkest days of your life. All because you are cursed by being in love with the one who does not and will not love you back.

But still you think about her and dream about her. You think like - .

Why am I attracted to a person I know isn’t good but Every time she comes through and surprises you, she wins you over. Oh god!! Just a sight of her, heart pounding, throat thickening, absolutely can’t swallow. You wanna forget everything but when she comes in front of you, you can’t resist, can’t control, you don’t know how and what happens to you. And you lose that argument with yourself that she is not for you, because you want to believe that you are wrong. Every time she does something that tells you she’s no good, you ignore it.

And then one day when you come across to your known reality, you feel like broken, flawless tears, you wanna go alone and alone, just out of this world, out of all relations. And it can actually ache in places that you didn’t know you had inside you. It doesn’t matter how many clothes you get or gyms you join, how many glasses of wine you drink, you still go to bed every night going over every detail and wonder where did you go wrong and how you could have misunderstood. And then you feel how ugly, useless you are. No one loves you, don’t even thinks about you.

Things end!!!

And how in the hell for that moment…you could think that you were that happy?? And sometimes you can even convince yourself …that she’ll see the light and show up at your door…And after all that … however long “all that” may be …you will go somewhere new… And you will meet people who will make you feel worthwhile again. And little pieces of your soul will finally come back…And all that fuzzy stuff…those years of your life that you wasted …that will eventually begin to fade…


Courtesy "The holiday"

My very first Kiss ...

Hi Friends,

Before you proceed with this poem I just wanted to let you know that this one is little different, you might not like the subject, content or whole drama. Go ahead at your own risk. JJJ

I remember that night, when you were with me

In that park under that tree

So Close to you feeling the heat

That sound which was too loud was my heart’s beat….

I lifted you up in my arms

Making you assure there will be no harm

When I slipped you slight and you hold me tight

I felt your breath and said it’s all right….

I heard your heart and felt the warmth

What I found was the aim of my birth

For the very first time the time stood still

Your soft skin which I could feel

Your real beauty which I could reveal

My ears were having sound of peal….

You put your hand on my thighs

 Came so closer and closed you eyes

I felt your breath and your lips

It was you pouring your own nips….

My body shuddered out of my choice

I felt the whisper of your warm voice

We wanted it for so long

It made our feelings truly strong….

I leaned on you and felt the touch

This was the time I loved you so much

I leaned back tried to resist

But these were my lips just wanted to be kissed….

You held me tight all through night

Knowing the fact it is not right

I felt complete and full of bliss

It was the memorable my very first Kiss….

खेल ..||

तेरेह साल के किशोर ने शायद कभी सोचा भी नही होगा की किस्मत उससे इस तरह बर्ताव करेगी|

उसे याद है आज भी वो दिन जब वह सौतेली माँ की मार के डर से घर से भाग आया था| उसके पास कुछ भी नही था करने को, भूख प्यास से भटकते-भटकते आखिर में सड़क पर एक कार से टकरा कर गिर पड़ा| गला प्यास के मारे सूखता हुआ और पैर से रक्त रिसने लगा था| उसे लगा की शायद वह अब और ना जी सकेगा| भरी गर्मी में सड़क पर पड़े किशोर को उठाने का समय किसी के पास भी नही था| पास ही के घर में ग्यारेह साल की रश्मि जिसने ये देखा, उससे ये सहा न गया और उसने अपनी माँ को कुछ करने को कहा|
माँ ने किशोर को कुछ लोगो की सहायता से बरामदे में लिटाया और उससे पानी पिलाया| पूछने पर जब किशोर ने अपनी पूरी कहानी सुनाई तब रश्मि की माँ को समझ नही आया की क्या जवाब दिया जाए| उन्होंने उसे पूछा अगर वह काम करने का इच्छुक है, किशोर ने तुर्रंत हां बोल दिया| उससे आसरा मिला और काम करने पर इज्ज़त भी| धीरे धीरे वह घर में घुलने मिलने लगा| खाली समय में वह रश्मि के साथ खेल लेता था|

रश्मि की मुस्कराहट उसे बहुत पसंद थी| जब खेल खेल में रश्मि खिलखिला उठती थी तो उससे देख कर उसकी ख़ुशी का ठिकाना ना रहता था| माँ ने अपने घर के बाहर का छोटा कमरा किशोर को दे दिया था| घर का काम हो जाने पर वह अपने कमरे में आराम कर सकता था| पर रश्मि के साथ खेलते समय उससे समय का सुध ही नही रहता था| माँ को उसका रश्मि के साथ इतना घुलना मिलना पसंद नही था| काम ख़त्म होने के बाद जब माँ उससे अपने कमरे में जाने को बोलती थी तो वह कुछ और काम तलाश करने लगता जिससे वह थोड़ी और देर घर में रह सके एवं रश्मि की मुस्कराहट को निहार सके, सुन सके| शायद वो उसे अच्छी लगने लगी थी| रश्मि जोकि स्वाभाव से चंचल और कोमल ह्रदय की थी उससे इस बात का कुछ आभास नही था बस उससे एक साधारण सा दोस्त ही समझती थी| समय निकलता गया और किशोर के दिल में रश्मि के लिए जगह बदती चली गई| उससे डर लगता था कि किसी दिन वह रश्मि को खो ना दे|
कहते हैं अच्छा समय पंछी की तरह फुर्र हो जाता है| एक समय आया जब रश्मि को शिक्षा के लिए दुसरे शहर में जाना था| किशोर उसकी माँ से बार-बार अनुरोध करने लगा की रश्मि को यही पड़ने दें| उनके ना कहने पर वह बोला की उससे रश्मि के साथ भेज दिया जाए वह वहां पर उसका काम कर दिया करेगा और इस तरह रश्मि को पढाई में कोई बाधा नही आएगी| रश्मि की माँ को समझ में नही आ रहा था की वह ऐसा क्यों कह रहा है और उसके सभी तर्क खारिज कर दिए गए|
कल जब रश्मि के जाने का समय में सिर्फ २ ही दिन बचे थे तो अनायास ही उसके मुह से निकल गया की वह रश्मि के बिना यहाँ नही रह पाएगा| वह नही जानता था की उसने ऐसा क्यों कहा पर शायद यह कह देना ही उसकी आखिरी उम्मीद बची थी| रश्मि और उसकी माँ यह सुनके जड़ रह गए| रश्मि सोच रही थी कि ना जाने क्यों वो उसके बारे में ऐसा सोचता है जबकि उसने उससे कभी एक दोस्त से ज्यादा नही समझा| क्या उसके साथ थोडा खिलखिलाना ही उसकी भूल थी? माँ को अपने कानो पर विशवास नही हो रहा था| किशोर अब कुछ सोचने या बोलने की अवस्था में नही था| शायद उसने कुछ ऐसा सपना देख लिया था जो कभी सच्चाई में नही बदल सकता था| रश्मि के पिता जोकि पोलिस में अफसर थे उनसे ये सहन नही हुआ और उन्होंने बिना कुछ सोचे समझे किशोर को अपनी बेल्ट से मारना चालू कर दिया| थोड़ी ही देर में उसे उसके सामान के साथ बहार फ़ेक दिया गया| जिस्म पर दर्द और ह्रदय में एक टीस सी उठ रही थी|

एक दिन वह घर के सामने पड़ा रहा भूखा प्यासा, दर्द से बेहाल बस इसी फ़िक्र में की शायद रश्मि उससे एक नज़र देखे और उससे अन्दर बुला ले| आज जब ऐसा कुछ भी ना हुआ तो उससे अपना पहला दिन याद आया की किस तरह उसे उस घर में पनाह मिली थी| उसने कुछ सोचा और अपनी किस्मत पर अपने अप से ज्यादा विशवास किया और रश्मि के घर की तरफ चल पड़ा| अधमरी हालत में उसे कुछ आभास नही था अचानक एक जीप से टक्कर खा कर गिर पड़ा| आँखों से आंसू और शरीर से रक्त रिसने लगा| उसने आंखिरी बार उस घर की तरफ नज़र उठा कर देखा, शायद फिर से रश्मि उससे बचा ले| पर आज कोई नही था, सिर्फ वो और उसकी किस्मत|  और उसकी आँखे धीरे धीरे बंद हो गई ||

Oh my brother

Presenting a poem wrote by my younger sister for me at the occasion of Rakshbandhan. I know it is not that good but i liked it. :) I celebrated this festival at home after two years.


So here you go --


Oh my brother, Oh my dear,
Your sister is waiting from two year


From last two year you were not here,
But i missed you a lot my dear


On your birthday i was not there,
In my thoughts, i was feeling you my near


i missed you and love you a lot my dear,
But in few words i can't  express my care


But at this year you will be here,


So now i feel no fear and no tear,
Because oh my dear you are my near


I will celebrate my rakhi with you my dear,
With bottom of my heart, with love, with care

Oh my brother, Oh my dear,

Your sister is waiting from two year

Cost and Worth!!

63 years of independence!! Long journey. Juggernaut towards success. 

Today we celebrated 63 years of freedom. Extensive speeches had been given from our esteemed leaders. Real power and achievements of the country were being shown. New opportunities were being promised. Flags were upraised. They told us how we are doing and pretended like we are the greatest. Champs are here!!! So indirectly we saw how a beautiful lie lools like.

I noticed so many changes in last couple of days. People changed their profile pictures, taglines and status. In couple of days everyone started feeling proud to be an Indian. Three colours got some attention. People sent messages for wishing each other the same, few didn't even know the exact value of it. Few people are not happy because this time it came on Sunday and so it wasted an extra holiday. 

Corporate world is not bad too; it tried to make highest money it could have done. Telecommunication companies are not giving even a single message for free on this day. Malls have given little extra offers on this day [which doesn't make any difference exactly] to earn little extra. Transport had demanded whatever they wanted. Movie channels were trying to show as more advertisements as they can. News channels were covering everything for increasing their TRP.  And everyone tried their best!!!

I usually keep listening from many of us that INDIA is not doing good, we have few pets like corruption, unemployment, poverty, population etc etc. , to which we love a lot. If I keep writing they are never going to end. India still has world's largest poor people in a single country, though we have largest rich people in a single country too. Sitting on the chair I am thinking who India is or who exactly is doing all this to us, who is exactly responsible for these all things?? 

The answer is as simple as it is - WE ARE INDIA. WE ARE DOING ALL THIS. WE ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR ALL OF THESE CIRCUMSTANCES. WE ARE DOING IT EVERYDAY!!!

Speaking something to someone for improving on something is the easiest thing someone can do, and that's what we do. Giving lecture's and advices on all these things is too easy. This is not someone special who is corrupted. This is the power of that chair on which we sit and work. That chair gives us power and our greed blinds us towards judgement.

So these are WE who are corrupted, Stop blaming others. If we really need some improvements in INDIA then keep in mind - we are INDIA. Improve own selves and India will improve. 

This is the time to bring change in India, in all of us. If we will not change then India will not changes!!!

This is the time to differentiate between COST and WORTH!!

I am IN are you??? 

JAI HIND....Happy Independence Day!

Gossip Time!!!..Relations!

Life always goes on with lots of learning’s and dense situations in undergoing relations.

In our life the most handle with care thing is our relations. Now day’s relations became the hottest theme to chitchat about.

Rajiv who saw his co-worker Ankit with one young woman at so many places assumed that she is his girlfriend. And it won't take even a single second to start gossip about this one. Whenever Ankit receive a call from anywhere and goes little out to talk clearly, gossip comes in. Whereas Ankit who is an innocent guy, didn’t even had little clue about it. Later after 2-3 days when Ankit got to be familiar about it, he was shocked because that girl was his cousin.....He thought...what a crap, at least think before you speak.

Now a day’s people are attracted about other's life that what’s going on there rather then focussing at their own life and then they speak anything about anyone’s life!!!...I in truth don't understand why they do the same. If you are really interested in that persons life and want to know what’s going on, Do some dare go and ask, lets see what happens.

If someone is roaming around with his/her opposite sex friend people would start rumours about them. The only thing I know is I don't understand why people speak if they don't understand things. Don't you have same relation with any of your friend?

Having tough time with all these. The only output I see from all these things is a single line ---

Everything looks funny unless it happens to YOU!!!

Birthday Blast :)

Just few seconds back the clock’s needle touched 12 and made me realised another year is added to my existence.

Speaking to my friend over phone & receiving birthday wishes. No expectations for any bolt from the blue and not even equipped. A sudden flash and 2 familiar faces entered in my room and that’s Dheeraj and his wife Iti with my roommate Aashish, Who brought all of the bliss for me to my birthday this year. Unexpected fortunes gives you most pleasure when you are not even ready for them. Gigantic Thanks to all these friends and you guys please don’t say NO.

They came up, shouted birthday wishes loudly and started giving me birthday bombs. And I bet they were real BOMBS, I still feel the explosionJ. Time to do little dance and cut cake. The dance was really amazing just prepared and executed in a well way. Director was DheerajJ. I cut the cake and they just polished my face with it. I can’t even make it up to open my eyes. Went and washed my face, second session started and that polish came again to meL. Captured so many pictures and videos. In between phone calls keep coming, and I was really having hard time to bring them reply.

Each time I thought it’s an end, it was just a pause. They polished my face 4 times with cake which entered in almost each of the hole available in my face. It’s my duty to share all my happiness with my friends and so I polished their faces too with that cakeJ. Iti acted very idly and concentrated her fingers on the camera. We sang the birthday song and finally ate one piece of cake. Time to open the gift and it was a Magnet Dart BoardJ. I wished they could have pasted someone’s picture on both sides of itJ which definitely would have brought the real contentment in targeting that boardJ. They asked me to have that board hanging at my chest to try some shotsL. With these all things finally the night surprise ended hereJ

At birthday being in office sucks but can’t help. Enjoyed day with real friends in office too. One of my close friends has provided me whole day Birthday support by keep communicating on E-Mail. That was the cutest thing I didn’t thought about. After completing the office shift the OnCall Birthday support was being provided by the same friend. That’s so sweet of you and that really makes my day. Special Thanks to YOUJ .

All is well that ends well. Phone calls are still coming. Ending the day and quoting the memories.

Once again thanks to all you for making this day unforgettable. 

You…

Hey honey you are the beautiful girl

Shines like a pearl

You change everything with a single smile

People come across you for making their life worthwhile

No one is more special then you

Tell me what I need to do

To remain always be with you

There are so many who loves you

There are so many who cares for you

I got a little heart too

Which beats for you…which feels for you....

To keep your face always smiling

I will never face trouble in every number dialling

To make you happy from inside

I will make each bad thing to you hide

Here are my words coming from my heart

You will never know how I feel for you

You will never know how much I care you

You will never know someone never forgets you

You will never know someone who bets you

Your friendship is the most precious thing to me

Please don’t afraid of coming near me

This time I should finally let this go

A day will come when I could finally let you know

Till then I would try to be your nearest friend

My feelings for you will never end…
Everything in my life just starts with you and ends with you...!

Happy Birthday :)

 Happy birthday…This is a beautiful day

On your very special day, I just want to say….

Today is your day…you can shout and shout

We all care for you…there is no doubt

I would pray to god…that let you be always the same

And definitely you will get your desired fame

Day after day you are getting older and older

But in my life your name is getting bolder and bolder

There are so many wishes for you…pop in my heart

If my life is a story then you are the most imp part

You are always been so sweet and understanding

Well it’s your time to be little demanding

In toughest times you have laugh and smiles

Let’s celebrate the day and open the wines

On your very special day, I just want to say

You can count on me… I will always stay

No matter it’s the day or it’s the night

I will never look its wrong or its rite

I am happy that you are here…

I will always have things to share

It’s your birthday…So enjoy till the best…

Happy birthday…This is a beautiful day…

I had so much but words are not enough to convey!