जिन्दा हो तुम..!!

एक एहसास के अभी जिन्दा हो तुम
कभी इस एहसास को एहसास  करने का वक़्त निकालो यारों
कि छोड़ कर तुम भागना आज
कुछ अधूरी रह गई ख्वाइशों पर नज़र डालो यारों
आँखें बंद करके एक लम्हा
जरा इस वक़्त कि रफ़्तार तो पहचानो यारों

कैसा है ये सफ़र जिंदगी का
कि चल रहा है वक़्त उसी रफ़्तार से
पर ना जाने जिंदगी थम सी गई है कहीं

जीने की खातिर खुदको रोज़ मार देते हैं
दिल में बसें अरमानों को मज़ाक में टाल देते हैं
जीने कि उम्र में टूट रहें  हैं हम
धड़कता दिल सुनके याद आता है कि जिन्दा हैं हम

रात के अंधेरो में जब कुछ यादों को बटोरा
एहसास हुआ कि कितने वक़्त से रोये नहीं
नींद तो रोज़ आ जाती है लेकिन
ना जाने कितने वक़्त से सोये नहीं

अधूरे ख्वाब अधूरी चाहत
सब अधूरा ही रह  जाएगा
निकल जाएगा ये वक़्त यूँ ही कश्मकश में
सब वक़्त यूँ ही गवां देने से पहले

एक एहसास के अभी जिन्दा हो तुम
कभी इस एहसास को एहसास करने का वक़्त निकालो यारों
कि छोड़ कर तुम भागना आज
कुछ अधूरी रह गई ख्वाइशों पर नज़र डालो यारों

Sometimes i wish...

Well this poem is written for my grandma who is no more with us for more then a year now. Sometimes missing someone makes them realize the true value of a person. 


Sometimes i wish...
You were never gone
So far from this world
Giving tears in so many eyes
Making them alone forever

Sometimes i wish...
You were still here
Laughing with all of us in good times and bad
Scolding us with love as the way you used to do
Telling me how much you love to me

Sometimes i wish...
I could show the girl i chosen
The one you always asked me for
And can see shine in your eyes
And a proudy yes to approve the girl

Sometimes i wish...
To feel you back in life for real
And not just in dreams you come
To talk with you for hours and hours
To feel the love you gave us your whole life

Sometimes i wish...
That i could speak to you for one more time
Just one last time
To hug you tight and take blessings from you
To tell you how much i love you
And how much you meant to me

Sometimes i wish...
I could roll time back
Not for good things
Not for bad things
But just for you.
Just for you.

Love you...

Each day i open my eyes

Each day i close my eyes

All i can think about is you

In each blink of my eyes

All i can see is you...Smiling at me as you always do

I wanna make you happy

I wanna make you feel the love of you life

Which will never fade

Doesn't matter how old you grow, or how old i grow

Sometimes in life you might feel a little space between us

A little shout or a little fight

I could be wrong sometimes

Or you could also be

But all i know is you love me and i love you

You trust me and i trust you

And so nothing in this world will keep us apart

Even there is, i know we will shut that off

Even though there is nothing in this world that lasts forever

But there is love which breaks the chain

A lots of love for you my dear

A lots of love for you

I love you and will always do ...

Missing you :(

There are times when i miss you a lot
I remember all the time i spent with you
When i close my eyes and see you face smiling at me
Afraid of opening my eyes as i know you would not be there

If you think i don't love you
Or i don't have time for you
Someday when no is around
Meet my pillow which carries a lot of secrets

I ran for you, I fought for you
And finally when i reached to you
All i saw is your back
Saying me a little word "BYE"

Even though i smile a lot
Sometimes my heart aches too
Even though i never complain anything
But i could have complains too

I wish you were here to talk with me
To understand me, To make me stop crying
To hug me and Make me feel
That you will never leave me alone EVER!! :(

Happy New Year :)

Years come and years go
short spans of time lined in row
one ends and another begins
All we do is look back and see what went wrong
Keep new resolutions for another year

As life goes on with seconds and breaths
All we know we have today...
to live to celebrate to fall in love to cheer
to earn to spend to fight to hate to cry

May you live all of your today with all you want today for another year and year
Happy New Year to all my readers and friends. Keep smiling and stay tuned.

It's you :)

When i came to you

i felt the shelter

i felt the rest

i found the peace

I find no other

Who can fill in your shoes

No money no person nothing else

And the best thing i know is

You are always with me

Doesn’t matter

How far i am

How poor i am

Or how sick i am

I know i can always count on you

It's you who loved me since you saw me

It’s you to whom i owe my whole life

It’s you

"My family" :)

Too scared and will always be…

I don't know what I felt

I don’t know why my heart melts

The first site of yours

Made my heartbeat crazy

And I got stuck with my life

Don’t know how come you meant everything to me

All it takes is hearing your name… a picture of yours

To make me fall in love again and again

To keep dreaming about you …about us

You talked to me was just a fluke

Loneliness with a broken heart was just a sequence

My tears never make much sound or you were too far to hear

Don’t know how I could continue

 How could I get the new life

Seeing you remind me you aren’t mine

But I will wipe you out of my heart

Trying this is the best I can

I will open my eyes again

Open my mind again

A new smile on my face

Just can’t open my heart again

Because I am too scared and will always be…

यही जिंदगी है ....

जब कुछ सपने यूँ झटके से टूटे

जो थे अपने जब वही निकले झूठे 

जब अरमानो की लाश को खुद आग दी

तब अहसास हुआ यही जिंदगी है

कभी दुसरो की खातिर कभी अपनों की खातिर

झूठी मुस्कराहट बिखेरते बिखेरते 

दिखा दर्पण जब एक दिन

अहसास आया यही जिंदगी है

बहुत हस लिए जब दूसरो पर 

खुदको जब देखा एक दिन 

और फूट फूट कर रोया

खुदको समझाया यही जिंदगी है

जब खूब दौड़ कर भी वो ना कर सके हासिल

जो पाना था बहुत पीछे रह गया

जहा देखने पर सक धुंधला नजर आता है

अहसास हुआ यही जिंदगी है

रोते हुए चेहरे पर जब पड़ी खुशिओ की चमक

पहली बार जिंदगी का अहसास लिया 

और खुशिया देने वाले ने जब कीमत मांग ली

अहसास हुआ यही जिंदगी है 

हर तरफ लगे हैं मेले ....

हर तरफ लगे हैं मेले 

बस खुशिओ का समां है

आज देखा हर तरफ

मेरा भारत जवा है

निकला जब लोगो का काफिला

तिरंगे को लेकर

आज देखा देशप्रेम का

असली जज्बा यहाँ है

ना जात पात का नाटक

ना दिलो में दूरिया हैं

आज देखो भारत की

सच्ची एकता यहाँ हैं

बीस साल बाद फिर से 

एक तूफ़ान आया है

विश्व-कप जीत कर भारत ने 

दुनिया भर में तिरंगा फेहराया है 

आज सारी रात बस जश्न की रात है

क्रिकेट का भगवान् सचिन हमारे साथ है

चलो मिल कर करते हैं जश्न

आज जश्न में पूरा वतन हमारे साथ है 

I lost you...

Yesterday night while seeing your pictures

I thought if I could hold you tight

Wanted real presence of yours

Which I could catch in my sight

A silent tear rolled out of my eyes

And I realised … I lost you

Regret is the only feeling which I feel everyday

Feelings which I have are not easy to say

The only thing I know I didn’t deserve this pain

I had something real which is flowing in my vein

My heart you took and broke it badly

Something which hurt me so deadly

I looked at your smiling face, tried out find out why

It was all I could do, to not to begin cry

While sleeping if look at the sky

I could make your picture and feel like cry

On bed I thought who is my best buddy?

Who do I love the most?

And I realised … I lost you

Feeling this much pain

Thought someone I could have

Who could feel me, make me laugh and smile

Walk with me for a longer mile

And I realised … I lost you

Death is the only way...

Seeing you going far from me..

Unexpressed pain...make me feel

I was never born to be loved..

Alone on the path

Just for sake of life

Unloved emotionless life just going on

Who will give everything just to quench the thirst of a real smile

The only wish of life which remained in heart

If you could ever understand my love

Even just for few moments

But the smile on your face

Makes me feel

You don’t need me…

And the time makes me realised…

That death is the only way…

I miss old days...

I miss old days….

When everything was so easy

When we used to go for outings and never had a camera

Those fights to come in middle of picture

When rs 500 were enough to have a grand party

I miss old days…

When except exams there were no more tensions

When for a party we used to eat someone’s mind

When we jumped on each other within a single peg

When love was just another joke…

I miss old days…

When an 80cc bike was no lesser than hayabusa

When computer was only for movies and songs

When girls were just in late night discussions

When party meant to be whole night masti…

I never thought this day will come

So many cameras but none to fight

So many parties but no fun

So many friends but no one for you

I miss old days….when we lived the life…

Because I love you...

Flawless tears ..with extreme pain..

Driving me somewhere…

Where I never wanted to be

I know I tried hard

May be I am not good at all

Or you are not supposed to be with me

But I really can’t help, Because I love you…

And there is a little heart

That is seriously hurt

And when each beat of it echo’s your name

It makes my brain restless

Seems like you reside in here

Tried every way to forget you

But I really can’t help, Because I love you…

If I give you a smile

You might think I am happy

The day you will feel the pain behind that

I believe you will be with me forever 

Just waiting for that day

I know you will understand one day

Because I love you...

Let it be…!!

And I met you once again

May be the last time…

With all my smile and excitement

To capture your smiling face in my eyes forever

To record your voice and to hear echo’s of it in my mind

To feel you always near...

Time always go little fast with you

Knowing that this is the last time

I wasn’t able to say something

And finally thought…. Let it be…!!

 Seeing you always makes my day

You can’t even imagine what you are

For someone who love’s you

But anyway…. Let it be…!!

Though I am not much expressive

I wish you could have seen something

In my eyes, at my face…in my heart

I heard love doesn’t need words...

But its ok…. Let it be..!!

The only thing I know is I am happy…because you are happy

Life will just go on…. Let it be..!! 

अच्छे थे वो पल...

आज पुरानी अलमारी में वो किताब नज़र आ गई

बचपन की तस्वीरो से कुछ याद मुझे दिला गई

अच्छे थे वो पल की जब चाहो तब रो लेते थे
और खिलौने ही दुनिया की सबसे बड़ी ख़ुशी दे देते थे

रातों को जब हम यूँ चैन की नींद सो जाते थे
जब पापा आकर रात को चादर हमें उड़ाते थे

अच्छे थे वो पल जब सब साथ घूमने जाते थे
सी-सी करते हुए भी हम खूब पानीपूरी खाते थे

त्योहारों पर जब हम खूब उछलते गाते थे
जब मौसी मौसा आकर गोदी में हमे उठाते थे

अच्छे थे वो पल जब डर ना किसी बात का था
जब प्यार का मतलब सिर्फ सर पर दादी का हाथ था

याद करके ये सब कुछ आँखे मेरी भीगा गई
बचपन की तस्वीरे फिर याद सब दिला गई ||

क्यों आए तुम !!

जला के मैंने तुम्हारी आरजू , जिंदगी को अपनी दफ़न कर दिया 

हँसते मुस्कुराते चेहरे पर अपने, उदासी का कफ़न जड़ दिया 

अलग थे रास्ते अलग थी मंजिले 

फिर क्यों थोड़ी दूर भी साथ चले

वादा कर दिया जब हमने जिंदगी भर साथ निभाने के लिए 

तुम कहते हो की खेल रहे थे तुम हमे आजमानें के लिए 

बन गए हो ख्वाब बनकर सीने में इस कदर 

और चैन की नींद में हो तुम इन सबसे बेखबर

आज खुदको देखा आईने में तो एक अलग इंसान नज़र आ गया

ऐसा क्या नशा है तुम्हारा की मुझे ऐसा बना गया

मोहब्बत ही तो की कौनसा गुनाह कर दिया

बस गलती यही हुई की जो भी किया वो बेपनाह कर दिया

अब दिल चाहता है कहीं दूर चले जाने को

याद न आओ तुम कुछ ऐसा वक़्त बिताने को

जला के मैंने तुम्हारी आरजू , जिंदगी को अपनी दफ़न कर दिया 

हँसते मुस्कुराते चेहरे पर अपने, उदासी का कफ़न जड़ दिया ||

Cruelest Love .... :(

LOVE!! The most complex thing ever existed in this world. I tried to find almost everything about it. We worship love which teaches us how to live. The whole world you can see in her one smile. They are luckier who get it. Love makes people happy forever. J

And than there is another kind of love, the cruelest kind, the one which almost kills its victim and its called unrequited love. To which I know much deeper. I suppose I think about love more then anyone really should.

Most of the stories which we often see are about the people who fall in love with each other, but how about few others, those of them who fall in love alone!!! Victims of the one sided affair. They are the cursed of the loved ones. They are the loved ones walking wounded.

You loved someone, so deeply without any demand, with all your heart because you loved. But then time comes which makes you realize that it was no good. And then you think those were the worst years of your life, the worst birthdays, new years, and celebrations. The time you have been in love have been the darkest days of your life. All because you are cursed by being in love with the one who does not and will not love you back.

But still you think about her and dream about her. You think like - .

Why am I attracted to a person I know isn’t good but Every time she comes through and surprises you, she wins you over. Oh god!! Just a sight of her, heart pounding, throat thickening, absolutely can’t swallow. You wanna forget everything but when she comes in front of you, you can’t resist, can’t control, you don’t know how and what happens to you. And you lose that argument with yourself that she is not for you, because you want to believe that you are wrong. Every time she does something that tells you she’s no good, you ignore it.

And then one day when you come across to your known reality, you feel like broken, flawless tears, you wanna go alone and alone, just out of this world, out of all relations. And it can actually ache in places that you didn’t know you had inside you. It doesn’t matter how many clothes you get or gyms you join, how many glasses of wine you drink, you still go to bed every night going over every detail and wonder where did you go wrong and how you could have misunderstood. And then you feel how ugly, useless you are. No one loves you, don’t even thinks about you.

Things end!!!

And how in the hell for that moment…you could think that you were that happy?? And sometimes you can even convince yourself …that she’ll see the light and show up at your door…And after all that … however long “all that” may be …you will go somewhere new… And you will meet people who will make you feel worthwhile again. And little pieces of your soul will finally come back…And all that fuzzy stuff…those years of your life that you wasted …that will eventually begin to fade…


Courtesy "The holiday"

My very first Kiss ...

Hi Friends,

Before you proceed with this poem I just wanted to let you know that this one is little different, you might not like the subject, content or whole drama. Go ahead at your own risk. JJJ

I remember that night, when you were with me

In that park under that tree

So Close to you feeling the heat

That sound which was too loud was my heart’s beat….

I lifted you up in my arms

Making you assure there will be no harm

When I slipped you slight and you hold me tight

I felt your breath and said it’s all right….

I heard your heart and felt the warmth

What I found was the aim of my birth

For the very first time the time stood still

Your soft skin which I could feel

Your real beauty which I could reveal

My ears were having sound of peal….

You put your hand on my thighs

 Came so closer and closed you eyes

I felt your breath and your lips

It was you pouring your own nips….

My body shuddered out of my choice

I felt the whisper of your warm voice

We wanted it for so long

It made our feelings truly strong….

I leaned on you and felt the touch

This was the time I loved you so much

I leaned back tried to resist

But these were my lips just wanted to be kissed….

You held me tight all through night

Knowing the fact it is not right

I felt complete and full of bliss

It was the memorable my very first Kiss….

जाने अनजाने में ...

जाने अनजाने में तुझसे प्यार करता रहा

घडी दर घडी तेरा इंतज़ार करता रहा

झूठे वादों में तेरे जिंदगी बिता दी

क्यूँ सब जान कर भी ऐतबार करता रहा

जानता हूँ की तू नही होगी कभी मेरी 

फिर क्यूँ बार बार तुझसे इकरार करता रहा

सुना है मिलती है ख़ुशी उम्मीद छूट जाने क बाद

उम्मीद छोड़ने की कोशिश मैं बार बार करता रहा

न दिया तुमने जवाब एक बार भी

फिर क्यूँ मैं बार बार वही सवाल करता रहा

अभी सूखे नहीं थे पुराने जख्म भी 

की मैं बार बार नए घाव करता रहा

जुदा हैं हम जुदा हो तुम

सब समझ कर भी मैं क्यों नादान बनता रहा 

क्यूँ सब जान कर भी तुझसे प्यार करता रहा||

Where is my home?

I am a women.

In my early age I always felt very happy for being worshipped at each of the occasion. Everyone told that women is equal to goddess. Getting so many gifts on different festivals always made me proud on being a women. And then with time I started getting older. Then my parents started asking me for each and everything i do that don't do it in this way, don't go out, don't wear this and that. None told none of these things to my brother, even my mother supported them. First time in my life I felt weak. I never thought it but i adjusted somehow. I was just thinking when i will get that freedom. Freedom of thoughts, freedom of doing things which i want to do, FREEDOM!
Time fled and I completed my college with one of girls college. I wanted to go out for job but none in my family supported. They told do whatever you want to do, do that after your marriage. They were trying to make me understand that this is not your HOME.

And the biggest day of my life came, got married. I was very excited that here the real life starts. I will do whatever I want to, I will wear whatever I like. Just after marriage first day i woke up little late and someone told me you should do like this, This is not your HOME. Then one day i wore jeans and everyone was just staring at me. I thought at least my husband will appreciate me or support me.Nothing happened. Whenever i tried doing something new everyone just told me that its not my home.

Everyone respected me but in actual none respected ME!

Sitting in my room i am just confused...Where is my home?