After the death

One fine day ..when there will be no one around
I will meet you in my grave..

I believe you will come to me and talk to me
for hours and hours
You will be free from ties of life...
completely mine

I know you love me..You know i love you
that will be the real time...
There will be a beautiful world
after this life...

I am waiting for you...for your lovely death
we will rest in peace
Then no one will see us...
we will be together forever...

Just die my darling am waiting alone...

Where is my home?

I am a women.

In my early age I always felt very happy for being worshipped at each of the occasion. Everyone told that women is equal to goddess. Getting so many gifts on different festivals always made me proud on being a women. And then with time I started getting older. Then my parents started asking me for each and everything i do that don't do it in this way, don't go out, don't wear this and that. None told none of these things to my brother, even my mother supported them. First time in my life I felt weak. I never thought it but i adjusted somehow. I was just thinking when i will get that freedom. Freedom of thoughts, freedom of doing things which i want to do, FREEDOM!
Time fled and I completed my college with one of girls college. I wanted to go out for job but none in my family supported. They told do whatever you want to do, do that after your marriage. They were trying to make me understand that this is not your HOME.

And the biggest day of my life came, got married. I was very excited that here the real life starts. I will do whatever I want to, I will wear whatever I like. Just after marriage first day i woke up little late and someone told me you should do like this, This is not your HOME. Then one day i wore jeans and everyone was just staring at me. I thought at least my husband will appreciate me or support me.Nothing happened. Whenever i tried doing something new everyone just told me that its not my home.

Everyone respected me but in actual none respected ME!

Sitting in my room i am just confused...Where is my home?

खेल ..||

तेरेह साल के किशोर ने शायद कभी सोचा भी नही होगा की किस्मत उससे इस तरह बर्ताव करेगी|

उसे याद है आज भी वो दिन जब वह सौतेली माँ की मार के डर से घर से भाग आया था| उसके पास कुछ भी नही था करने को, भूख प्यास से भटकते-भटकते आखिर में सड़क पर एक कार से टकरा कर गिर पड़ा| गला प्यास के मारे सूखता हुआ और पैर से रक्त रिसने लगा था| उसे लगा की शायद वह अब और ना जी सकेगा| भरी गर्मी में सड़क पर पड़े किशोर को उठाने का समय किसी के पास भी नही था| पास ही के घर में ग्यारेह साल की रश्मि जिसने ये देखा, उससे ये सहा न गया और उसने अपनी माँ को कुछ करने को कहा|
माँ ने किशोर को कुछ लोगो की सहायता से बरामदे में लिटाया और उससे पानी पिलाया| पूछने पर जब किशोर ने अपनी पूरी कहानी सुनाई तब रश्मि की माँ को समझ नही आया की क्या जवाब दिया जाए| उन्होंने उसे पूछा अगर वह काम करने का इच्छुक है, किशोर ने तुर्रंत हां बोल दिया| उससे आसरा मिला और काम करने पर इज्ज़त भी| धीरे धीरे वह घर में घुलने मिलने लगा| खाली समय में वह रश्मि के साथ खेल लेता था|

रश्मि की मुस्कराहट उसे बहुत पसंद थी| जब खेल खेल में रश्मि खिलखिला उठती थी तो उससे देख कर उसकी ख़ुशी का ठिकाना ना रहता था| माँ ने अपने घर के बाहर का छोटा कमरा किशोर को दे दिया था| घर का काम हो जाने पर वह अपने कमरे में आराम कर सकता था| पर रश्मि के साथ खेलते समय उससे समय का सुध ही नही रहता था| माँ को उसका रश्मि के साथ इतना घुलना मिलना पसंद नही था| काम ख़त्म होने के बाद जब माँ उससे अपने कमरे में जाने को बोलती थी तो वह कुछ और काम तलाश करने लगता जिससे वह थोड़ी और देर घर में रह सके एवं रश्मि की मुस्कराहट को निहार सके, सुन सके| शायद वो उसे अच्छी लगने लगी थी| रश्मि जोकि स्वाभाव से चंचल और कोमल ह्रदय की थी उससे इस बात का कुछ आभास नही था बस उससे एक साधारण सा दोस्त ही समझती थी| समय निकलता गया और किशोर के दिल में रश्मि के लिए जगह बदती चली गई| उससे डर लगता था कि किसी दिन वह रश्मि को खो ना दे|
कहते हैं अच्छा समय पंछी की तरह फुर्र हो जाता है| एक समय आया जब रश्मि को शिक्षा के लिए दुसरे शहर में जाना था| किशोर उसकी माँ से बार-बार अनुरोध करने लगा की रश्मि को यही पड़ने दें| उनके ना कहने पर वह बोला की उससे रश्मि के साथ भेज दिया जाए वह वहां पर उसका काम कर दिया करेगा और इस तरह रश्मि को पढाई में कोई बाधा नही आएगी| रश्मि की माँ को समझ में नही आ रहा था की वह ऐसा क्यों कह रहा है और उसके सभी तर्क खारिज कर दिए गए|
कल जब रश्मि के जाने का समय में सिर्फ २ ही दिन बचे थे तो अनायास ही उसके मुह से निकल गया की वह रश्मि के बिना यहाँ नही रह पाएगा| वह नही जानता था की उसने ऐसा क्यों कहा पर शायद यह कह देना ही उसकी आखिरी उम्मीद बची थी| रश्मि और उसकी माँ यह सुनके जड़ रह गए| रश्मि सोच रही थी कि ना जाने क्यों वो उसके बारे में ऐसा सोचता है जबकि उसने उससे कभी एक दोस्त से ज्यादा नही समझा| क्या उसके साथ थोडा खिलखिलाना ही उसकी भूल थी? माँ को अपने कानो पर विशवास नही हो रहा था| किशोर अब कुछ सोचने या बोलने की अवस्था में नही था| शायद उसने कुछ ऐसा सपना देख लिया था जो कभी सच्चाई में नही बदल सकता था| रश्मि के पिता जोकि पोलिस में अफसर थे उनसे ये सहन नही हुआ और उन्होंने बिना कुछ सोचे समझे किशोर को अपनी बेल्ट से मारना चालू कर दिया| थोड़ी ही देर में उसे उसके सामान के साथ बहार फ़ेक दिया गया| जिस्म पर दर्द और ह्रदय में एक टीस सी उठ रही थी|

एक दिन वह घर के सामने पड़ा रहा भूखा प्यासा, दर्द से बेहाल बस इसी फ़िक्र में की शायद रश्मि उससे एक नज़र देखे और उससे अन्दर बुला ले| आज जब ऐसा कुछ भी ना हुआ तो उससे अपना पहला दिन याद आया की किस तरह उसे उस घर में पनाह मिली थी| उसने कुछ सोचा और अपनी किस्मत पर अपने अप से ज्यादा विशवास किया और रश्मि के घर की तरफ चल पड़ा| अधमरी हालत में उसे कुछ आभास नही था अचानक एक जीप से टक्कर खा कर गिर पड़ा| आँखों से आंसू और शरीर से रक्त रिसने लगा| उसने आंखिरी बार उस घर की तरफ नज़र उठा कर देखा, शायद फिर से रश्मि उससे बचा ले| पर आज कोई नही था, सिर्फ वो और उसकी किस्मत|  और उसकी आँखे धीरे धीरे बंद हो गई ||

Oh my brother

Presenting a poem wrote by my younger sister for me at the occasion of Rakshbandhan. I know it is not that good but i liked it. :) I celebrated this festival at home after two years.


So here you go --


Oh my brother, Oh my dear,
Your sister is waiting from two year


From last two year you were not here,
But i missed you a lot my dear


On your birthday i was not there,
In my thoughts, i was feeling you my near


i missed you and love you a lot my dear,
But in few words i can't  express my care


But at this year you will be here,


So now i feel no fear and no tear,
Because oh my dear you are my near


I will celebrate my rakhi with you my dear,
With bottom of my heart, with love, with care

Oh my brother, Oh my dear,

Your sister is waiting from two year

जिंदगी ||

दुनिया की भीड़ में अकेला सा चल रहा हूँ ,
मुस्कराने की चाह में आंसुओं से लड़ रहा हूँ |
खुशिया बिखरीं हैं हर और मेरे ,
ना जाने हर पल क्यों यू कमजोर पढ रहा हूँ ||

चारों और बह रहीं हैं ठंडी हवाएं ,
ना जाने क्यों मैं गर्मी से भभक रहा हूँ |
उजियारा हर और छा रहा अब जिंदगी में ,
फिर क्यों अँधेरे की खातिर तड़प रहा हूँ ||

ऋणात्मकता से भर चली है ये जिंदगी ,
जाने कब ये ऋण चूका जाएगा |
प्रतीक्षा करने की आदत है मेरी और समय यू ही निकल जाएगा ,
बेक़रार हूँ में जिस कल के लिए , वो कल न जाने क्या रंग लाएगा ||

Cost and Worth!!

63 years of independence!! Long journey. Juggernaut towards success. 

Today we celebrated 63 years of freedom. Extensive speeches had been given from our esteemed leaders. Real power and achievements of the country were being shown. New opportunities were being promised. Flags were upraised. They told us how we are doing and pretended like we are the greatest. Champs are here!!! So indirectly we saw how a beautiful lie lools like.

I noticed so many changes in last couple of days. People changed their profile pictures, taglines and status. In couple of days everyone started feeling proud to be an Indian. Three colours got some attention. People sent messages for wishing each other the same, few didn't even know the exact value of it. Few people are not happy because this time it came on Sunday and so it wasted an extra holiday. 

Corporate world is not bad too; it tried to make highest money it could have done. Telecommunication companies are not giving even a single message for free on this day. Malls have given little extra offers on this day [which doesn't make any difference exactly] to earn little extra. Transport had demanded whatever they wanted. Movie channels were trying to show as more advertisements as they can. News channels were covering everything for increasing their TRP.  And everyone tried their best!!!

I usually keep listening from many of us that INDIA is not doing good, we have few pets like corruption, unemployment, poverty, population etc etc. , to which we love a lot. If I keep writing they are never going to end. India still has world's largest poor people in a single country, though we have largest rich people in a single country too. Sitting on the chair I am thinking who India is or who exactly is doing all this to us, who is exactly responsible for these all things?? 

The answer is as simple as it is - WE ARE INDIA. WE ARE DOING ALL THIS. WE ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR ALL OF THESE CIRCUMSTANCES. WE ARE DOING IT EVERYDAY!!!

Speaking something to someone for improving on something is the easiest thing someone can do, and that's what we do. Giving lecture's and advices on all these things is too easy. This is not someone special who is corrupted. This is the power of that chair on which we sit and work. That chair gives us power and our greed blinds us towards judgement.

So these are WE who are corrupted, Stop blaming others. If we really need some improvements in INDIA then keep in mind - we are INDIA. Improve own selves and India will improve. 

This is the time to bring change in India, in all of us. If we will not change then India will not changes!!!

This is the time to differentiate between COST and WORTH!!

I am IN are you??? 

JAI HIND....Happy Independence Day!

Writing ..An Amazing Feeling!!

Few days back i was wondering why people write things in blogs, in wordpress and in their own personal sites or dairies. 

Sharing is the natural behavior of human. We all got complicated brains. Our brain remains active 24 hours and does something something. Thinking capability of brain is the ultimate quality. Sometimes whatever we think we want to share without caring who the well going to read it. But writing it somewhere gives the ultimate relief and shows us that how closely we can make people understand our thoughts.

Blogging or writing is not just about getting appreciated for the work or the flow of words we have drawn. It is about writing something that you cannot keep in your brain. Thoughts which hit our mind each second, each place and just wanna come out of the brain.

It helps us a lot. There are two kind of people. Introvert and extrovert. Fortunately both loves writing, but both have different aims behind their writings and impact appears in the writing. Writing things gives us freedom to have a look from outside on what we are, what we exactly think or what we want. I am writing since long time as it gives me little room out of my busy life and helps me keep smiling. I don't wanna share my pains with anyone but at least i can write them and definitely one day when i will be very happy or will be out of some pain, i will visit my writings and i am sure i will laugh :)


Writing is a good thing, whoever is reading this post i would say read a lot and write a lot. Stay Happy.


Here is a BIG THANKS to Bloggers, Wordpress which made very easy for us to express our thoughts globally and definitely vice versa knowing thoughts of others as well unknowns is just feels amazing.Keep writing the good stuff :)


Have a Great day!

Gossip Time!!!..Relations!

Life always goes on with lots of learning’s and dense situations in undergoing relations.

In our life the most handle with care thing is our relations. Now day’s relations became the hottest theme to chitchat about.

Rajiv who saw his co-worker Ankit with one young woman at so many places assumed that she is his girlfriend. And it won't take even a single second to start gossip about this one. Whenever Ankit receive a call from anywhere and goes little out to talk clearly, gossip comes in. Whereas Ankit who is an innocent guy, didn’t even had little clue about it. Later after 2-3 days when Ankit got to be familiar about it, he was shocked because that girl was his cousin.....He thought...what a crap, at least think before you speak.

Now a day’s people are attracted about other's life that what’s going on there rather then focussing at their own life and then they speak anything about anyone’s life!!!...I in truth don't understand why they do the same. If you are really interested in that persons life and want to know what’s going on, Do some dare go and ask, lets see what happens.

If someone is roaming around with his/her opposite sex friend people would start rumours about them. The only thing I know is I don't understand why people speak if they don't understand things. Don't you have same relation with any of your friend?

Having tough time with all these. The only output I see from all these things is a single line ---

Everything looks funny unless it happens to YOU!!!

Birthday Blast :)

Just few seconds back the clock’s needle touched 12 and made me realised another year is added to my existence.

Speaking to my friend over phone & receiving birthday wishes. No expectations for any bolt from the blue and not even equipped. A sudden flash and 2 familiar faces entered in my room and that’s Dheeraj and his wife Iti with my roommate Aashish, Who brought all of the bliss for me to my birthday this year. Unexpected fortunes gives you most pleasure when you are not even ready for them. Gigantic Thanks to all these friends and you guys please don’t say NO.

They came up, shouted birthday wishes loudly and started giving me birthday bombs. And I bet they were real BOMBS, I still feel the explosionJ. Time to do little dance and cut cake. The dance was really amazing just prepared and executed in a well way. Director was DheerajJ. I cut the cake and they just polished my face with it. I can’t even make it up to open my eyes. Went and washed my face, second session started and that polish came again to meL. Captured so many pictures and videos. In between phone calls keep coming, and I was really having hard time to bring them reply.

Each time I thought it’s an end, it was just a pause. They polished my face 4 times with cake which entered in almost each of the hole available in my face. It’s my duty to share all my happiness with my friends and so I polished their faces too with that cakeJ. Iti acted very idly and concentrated her fingers on the camera. We sang the birthday song and finally ate one piece of cake. Time to open the gift and it was a Magnet Dart BoardJ. I wished they could have pasted someone’s picture on both sides of itJ which definitely would have brought the real contentment in targeting that boardJ. They asked me to have that board hanging at my chest to try some shotsL. With these all things finally the night surprise ended hereJ

At birthday being in office sucks but can’t help. Enjoyed day with real friends in office too. One of my close friends has provided me whole day Birthday support by keep communicating on E-Mail. That was the cutest thing I didn’t thought about. After completing the office shift the OnCall Birthday support was being provided by the same friend. That’s so sweet of you and that really makes my day. Special Thanks to YOUJ .

All is well that ends well. Phone calls are still coming. Ending the day and quoting the memories.

Once again thanks to all you for making this day unforgettable. 

You…

Hey honey you are the beautiful girl

Shines like a pearl

You change everything with a single smile

People come across you for making their life worthwhile

No one is more special then you

Tell me what I need to do

To remain always be with you

There are so many who loves you

There are so many who cares for you

I got a little heart too

Which beats for you…which feels for you....

To keep your face always smiling

I will never face trouble in every number dialling

To make you happy from inside

I will make each bad thing to you hide

Here are my words coming from my heart

You will never know how I feel for you

You will never know how much I care you

You will never know someone never forgets you

You will never know someone who bets you

Your friendship is the most precious thing to me

Please don’t afraid of coming near me

This time I should finally let this go

A day will come when I could finally let you know

Till then I would try to be your nearest friend

My feelings for you will never end…
Everything in my life just starts with you and ends with you...!

Happy Birthday :)

 Happy birthday…This is a beautiful day

On your very special day, I just want to say….

Today is your day…you can shout and shout

We all care for you…there is no doubt

I would pray to god…that let you be always the same

And definitely you will get your desired fame

Day after day you are getting older and older

But in my life your name is getting bolder and bolder

There are so many wishes for you…pop in my heart

If my life is a story then you are the most imp part

You are always been so sweet and understanding

Well it’s your time to be little demanding

In toughest times you have laugh and smiles

Let’s celebrate the day and open the wines

On your very special day, I just want to say

You can count on me… I will always stay

No matter it’s the day or it’s the night

I will never look its wrong or its rite

I am happy that you are here…

I will always have things to share

It’s your birthday…So enjoy till the best…

Happy birthday…This is a beautiful day…

I had so much but words are not enough to convey! 

A Man...

A Man…

For whom smile is just a name of a girl…

For whom blushing is just a talk about a girl…

For whom treasure is just a chocolate gifted a girl…

For whom pleasure is watching a sleeping pearl…

A Man…

Who loves someone secretly…

Who need someone desperately…

Whose emotions are just inside of his heart…

Who wanna something to get start…

A Man…

Who feel the energy when someone is around…

Whose heart will soon be wound…

Who feels that girl is going far…

Everything he wanna do is not yar...

A Man…

Who feels slow in rain...

Who feels alone in pain…

Who feels like being cursed…

Who has a life where everything he wanted going reversed…

A Man…

Who always prays..

Who is getting long days…

Who always cares…

Who never dares…

A Man….

Who never says…

Who always pays…

Who will never ask…

Who will be soon a past…

Just a man…who thinks …A man… who thinks…

क्षत विक्षत जिंदगी

क्षत विक्षत सी हालत में,

जिंदगी यूँ ही चल रही है,

जो कभी मेरा हो ना सकेगा,

क्यों उसी की आज कमी खल रही है

आंसू के दो कतरे पलक से टपके

याद आया मेरे सपनों की चिता जल रही है

धुंधला सा हो चला है सब कुछ

किसी के लिए मेरी जिंदगी गल रही है

शरीर है जड़, ना सोचने की ताकत

ना जाने क्या बिमारी अंदर पल रही है

मस्तक पे चिंता की लकीरें

आँखे क्यों अंदर गढ़ रहीं हैं

क्षत विक्षत सी हालत में,

जिंदगी यूँ ही चल रही है,

सपनों का आशिया यूँ जमीं पर बिखरा

हर और बस काली हवा चल रही है

देख के जलती हुई आशिआने की लाश

जवानी कूद जाने को मचल रही है

तड़प रही है जिंदगी बेबस सी होकर

धड़कन है की बस धड़क रही है

सुन ली गई है शायद मेरी फ़रियाद 

धड़कन धीरे-धीरे अब थम रही है

क्षत विक्षत सी हालत में,

जिंदगी यूँ ही चल रही है,

जो कभी मेरा हो ना सकेगा,

क्यों उसी की आज कमी खल रही है

Becoming Older...

Now a day I feel popping a sound…

Inside of my heart…outside of my heart…

Everyone says you became older now…

I stare at me and try feeling the change.

I think is it my changing taste?

Or is it my growing waist?

Is it the tensed nights?

Or is it my weak eyes?

And I feel, yes my laughs are getting fainter

I am coming serious and becoming a tenter

Forgetting the moments I lived…

Forgetting the moments I wanna live…

Things are just changed…doesn’t wanna believe…

But deep down my heart…

I feel a hidden child under umbrella of life

Who still wanna see a flying aeroplane

Who still love window seat at train

Who still wanna play hours & hours

Who still wanna steal chocolates from drawers

Who still wanna do some foolish thing

Who still have dream to be a king

And I feel the time has gone…

Its time to understand the real life,

Do some work or some strife…

Its time to understand the real day,

Time to enjoy in a different way…

Now a day I feel popping a sound…

Inside of my heart…outside of my heart…

Everyone says you became older now…

Why i do.... What i do... :(

Every time I start thinking about you…I think why I do what I do,

Though it’s hard to hold on you… but still I always do.

What ever goes wrong I think it will be fine tomorrow,

Tomorrow comes and instead it brings sorrow,

I always think positive and wait until I will find a way,

But colours of my life are fading and everything is getting grey,

Each moment of my day I think about you,

You talk to me, I get some illusion but I feel it so true,

I have so many feelings which are hurting me inside,

Faith and truth are going to collide.

Someone said everything is fair in love and war,

And so I can do anything but I am afraid of mar,

My life is the empty sky and you are the only star,

I wanna win your heart but why I am only up to par,

I am trying to come more and more near to you,

But inside of my heart I feel you are going far and far.

I need your head on my shoulder and wanna feel you are mine,

I will leave everything for you & will always keep you divine,

I know some dreams are just for be dreams,

And to make them true you need real bloodstreams,

I wanna forget you and wanna make you as a past,

I try hard and harder then feel good things never last,

I will loose you one day with all my tears,

And then life will be easy just like yesteryears.

Every time I start thinking about you…I think why I do what I do,

Though it’s hard to hold on you… but still I always do.