क्षत विक्षत जिंदगी

क्षत विक्षत सी हालत में,

जिंदगी यूँ ही चल रही है,

जो कभी मेरा हो ना सकेगा,

क्यों उसी की आज कमी खल रही है

आंसू के दो कतरे पलक से टपके

याद आया मेरे सपनों की चिता जल रही है

धुंधला सा हो चला है सब कुछ

किसी के लिए मेरी जिंदगी गल रही है

शरीर है जड़, ना सोचने की ताकत

ना जाने क्या बिमारी अंदर पल रही है

मस्तक पे चिंता की लकीरें

आँखे क्यों अंदर गढ़ रहीं हैं

क्षत विक्षत सी हालत में,

जिंदगी यूँ ही चल रही है,

सपनों का आशिया यूँ जमीं पर बिखरा

हर और बस काली हवा चल रही है

देख के जलती हुई आशिआने की लाश

जवानी कूद जाने को मचल रही है

तड़प रही है जिंदगी बेबस सी होकर

धड़कन है की बस धड़क रही है

सुन ली गई है शायद मेरी फ़रियाद 

धड़कन धीरे-धीरे अब थम रही है

क्षत विक्षत सी हालत में,

जिंदगी यूँ ही चल रही है,

जो कभी मेरा हो ना सकेगा,

क्यों उसी की आज कमी खल रही है

Becoming Older...

Now a day I feel popping a sound…

Inside of my heart…outside of my heart…

Everyone says you became older now…

I stare at me and try feeling the change.

I think is it my changing taste?

Or is it my growing waist?

Is it the tensed nights?

Or is it my weak eyes?

And I feel, yes my laughs are getting fainter

I am coming serious and becoming a tenter

Forgetting the moments I lived…

Forgetting the moments I wanna live…

Things are just changed…doesn’t wanna believe…

But deep down my heart…

I feel a hidden child under umbrella of life

Who still wanna see a flying aeroplane

Who still love window seat at train

Who still wanna play hours & hours

Who still wanna steal chocolates from drawers

Who still wanna do some foolish thing

Who still have dream to be a king

And I feel the time has gone…

Its time to understand the real life,

Do some work or some strife…

Its time to understand the real day,

Time to enjoy in a different way…

Now a day I feel popping a sound…

Inside of my heart…outside of my heart…

Everyone says you became older now…

Why i do.... What i do... :(

Every time I start thinking about you…I think why I do what I do,

Though it’s hard to hold on you… but still I always do.

What ever goes wrong I think it will be fine tomorrow,

Tomorrow comes and instead it brings sorrow,

I always think positive and wait until I will find a way,

But colours of my life are fading and everything is getting grey,

Each moment of my day I think about you,

You talk to me, I get some illusion but I feel it so true,

I have so many feelings which are hurting me inside,

Faith and truth are going to collide.

Someone said everything is fair in love and war,

And so I can do anything but I am afraid of mar,

My life is the empty sky and you are the only star,

I wanna win your heart but why I am only up to par,

I am trying to come more and more near to you,

But inside of my heart I feel you are going far and far.

I need your head on my shoulder and wanna feel you are mine,

I will leave everything for you & will always keep you divine,

I know some dreams are just for be dreams,

And to make them true you need real bloodstreams,

I wanna forget you and wanna make you as a past,

I try hard and harder then feel good things never last,

I will loose you one day with all my tears,

And then life will be easy just like yesteryears.

Every time I start thinking about you…I think why I do what I do,

Though it’s hard to hold on you… but still I always do.

Miscellaneous Thoughts

Why in this cruel world we never get the thing we desire most strongly. May be the reason is god always loves crying faces and falling tears. May be god always wanna be more and more powerful. He makes a person to cry, so people should come to him and pray something they desire, which increases the power of god. But god need to understand the more tears will come outside the more eyes will get dry and then there will be nothing named hope, wishes and happiness. And if he can not understand this then he does not deserved to be the GOD. May be god will be more happy that time. Wishing God to have the sad world to rule, stay happy and to be more powerful.  

The only thing we need to learn in our life is how to stay happy while you have nothing to stay happy or you have everything to stay happy.

The only thing which is constant in our whole life is Change. The sooner we will learn to accept changes the sooner we will learn to stay happy. So go ahead and accept the changes happily.

The only thing which will never leave us alone is our loneliness. People say that loneliness is the best friend too. So whenever you feel sad or hurt don’t share it with anyone just feel it when you are alone, May be it will be painful but it will lead you towards success and happiness.

Love You Mom :)

Oh my dear god...

Am thankful to you, you are here with me in form of mother...

My only wish is let’s always be together

i find you doing everything for me...

No matter how difficult that's gonna be

Don’t know how you know what I need

And you just give it to me without any greed

To make me sleep you were singing a song

No matter I was taking time too much long

You told me so many stories on stars

You were keeping me safe you were shadowing me under wars

Whoever i see whoever I meet, I feel you are the best

You are the one and all apart are rest

Thanks for being my mother...I will never make you any other

On this mother's day...I wanna let you know...i love you so much my mother :)

Oh my dear god...

Am thankful to you, you are here with me in form of mother...

My only wish is let’s always be together J J

Desires Continues...!!

The other name of life is DESIRE. Desires make us breathe, impatient, stirring & keep operational.

We are human and every human being has so many desires, no one knows how many of those are going to get complete and how many are not to. We survive our existence with optimism and desperation towards our desires. We are living here on earth, where each individual is self-centred and hungry for there desires.

I am sitting at my chair and it is 4AM midnight, thinking about the life how it is changed completely but I do have a thing which is still the same and that thing is desire. Desire’s to achieve, Desire’s to win, Desire’s to Desire.

Not able to understand human nature. When I was small I had desire to come out from school, when I became quite younger I had desire to come out of the college and  I finally started my job but I still have desire to quit my job and do something else. Before celebrating the achievement of completion of one desire we will get another subsequent one. I don't understand why I get these and i am damm sure if I will quit my job and do something else, I will get some desire there too. 

If God really exists s/he must be laughing at our nature that how do we do and appeal again again and again to get fulfilled our silly desire's, matter of fact is we never say Thanks too :) until and unless we realize that it wasn't done by our own effort or we really didn't even deserve what we got.

Anyway even after knowing everything we can't rule anything. Even right now I have one strongest desire and I have a sense this is my last one ;) But who have seen the future.

Restless brain...Need some satisfaction...Need something badly...

"I wanna go there where no one has desires...Life is the greatest gift, wanna live it before it expires..."